Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
