Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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