some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
is it fun? or sober?
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