How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
