I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
