Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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