He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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