I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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