Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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