i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
