I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
