he wants to bone in the snuggie
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
