i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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