you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
