remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
