I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
