Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
