Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
