The maid of honor just puked.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
