yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
