so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
