1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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