I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she looked like the before picture.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
