I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
