Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
tell me about the eggs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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