He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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