yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
