You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize