oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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