It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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