I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
