whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
