I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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