It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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