hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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