the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize