So drunk its hurt
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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