Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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