I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
