i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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