I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you had me at cake vodka
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
