She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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