If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Quick, to the slutcave!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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