I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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