If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
