mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
