I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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