I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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