The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
