I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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