Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
cat food counts as protein by the way
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
