Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
