Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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