So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she pinky promised me she was 18
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
