Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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