Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
