My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
