Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
