I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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