and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
